I told him not to get an Apple iCoffee, and now the world’s ending. Could’ve gone with Folgers, Nespresso, or an ancient percolator; hell, I would’ve taken instant coffee and a kettle. But no. Aaron had to be all tech-savvy and get the latest and greatest piece of faux-minimalist plastic crap from Steve Jobs’ house of soul-sucking money machines. I always suspected those guys would cause the apocalypse somehow.
Sorry. My boyfriend… ex-boyfriend.. got a coffee maker that opened a portal to the nth dimension of hell in my kitchen, and I’m pretty sure I’m not getting the deposit back. I’ve been a little on-edge. This time last year I was looking for an apartment with him, settling into my new reporter position at the Daily Herald, and looking forward to properly moving out for the first time. Today? Today I found a Drude in my favorite mug.
It didn’t even make a good cup of coffee.
This may not be the best time to be ranting about it — the end of the world has been
eventful to say the least — but we seem to have a minute, and I got stress I need to vent. Aaron gets all whiney when I try to vent at him, says I’m “blaming him for the apocalypse” and “how was he supposed to know making coffee with red bull was going to open a portal to hell.”
Aaron, if you’re somehow reading this in the future: You weren’t supposed to know, but I am blaming you, because who makes coffee with red bull you nut-gargling moron.
As for God? He hasn’t shown up yet, but if someone else is reading this, he might’ve.
For a class assignment I made some additions to the story from yesterday, in an attempt to add quick character depth at the beginning of the story. Can you spot the additions I made? Do you think they improved the story? Let me know in the comments!
p.s. Thank you everyone who’s liked my previous posts! I’m glad I managed to entertain you for a few minutes 🙂