Apple iDiot

I told him not to get an Apple iCoffee, and now the world’s ending. Could’ve gone with Folgers, Nespresso, or an ancient percolator; hell, I would’ve taken instant coffee and a kettle. But no. Aaron had to be all tech-savvy and get the latest and greatest piece of faux-minimalist plastic crap from Steve Jobs’ house of soul-sucking money machines.

Sorry. My boyfriend… ex-boyfriend..  got a coffee maker that opened a portal to the nth dimension of hell in my kitchen, and I’m pretty sure I’m not getting the deposit back. I’ve been a little on-edge.

It didn’t even make a good cup of coffee.

This may not be the best time to be ranting about it — the end of the world has been

eventful to say the least — but we seem to have a minute, and I got stress I need to vent. Aaron gets all whiny when I try to vent at him, says I’m “blaming him for the apocalypse” and “how was he supposed to know making coffee with red bull was going to open a portal to hell.”

Aaron, if you’re somehow reading this in the future: You weren’t supposed to know, but I am blaming you, because who makes coffee with red bull you nut-gargling moron.

Hello everyone! I’m back! I kinda unintentionally took Easter off, but I’m gonna get back to daily posting. Did you like the story? Today’s writing exercise was “Write a story in which a broken coffee maker has a huge impact on the world around it.” which I got from

I spent about 10 minutes on this. Comment your own writing prompts below or let me know what you want me to tackle next! 


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